


Feelings Are Fatal

by Revioli69



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Other, Our Deer Boi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21649459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revioli69/pseuds/Revioli69
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader, Charlie/Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

Yea! welcome to my story- I'm posting this author's note because I had a dream about this lol

so im going to make a full ass story! X3

This... of course is Alastor X Reader so stay tuned

~Revioli


	2. Chapter 2

You are y/n l/n. You are a waitress at Del Rancho Oklahoma, along with your friend Jasmine who was a waitress as well. You are a lighthearted cringe worthy kind of gal, but that's how you and Jas got along. She was the "Papyrus to your Sans" as you put it. Living in a small apartment with Jas and your small fluffy baby Bella Fluffy Rose (shhhhhhh), your life was floating in a gentle breeze. _perfect_. Although sometimes, you wish something interesting would happen to you, y'know? something... _exciting_ , but that never had seemed to have happened before. Well- before you met Jasmine. She was a crazy biscuit, but that's what you loved about her. When you first met her was on some random gaming server 7 years ago- OH! Did i mention that you were 12 and now you are 19? Yea- That's a thing. You two were inseparable, clicking together like Legos, or maybe the clacking of tap shoes. Going back to how she was crazy, she convinced you to try the cinnamon challenege.

 _big mistake_.

But today was a special day.

"Come on Jass! You're going to love this!" You dragged your friend inside the apartment (Probably breaking her arm in the process). "I promise!" 

"Jeez! Okay okay" She giggled, shaking her head. Jass sat on the couch. "What do you want to show me-" You pulled out a lottery ticket, proudly waving it in her face. "Hehe.... Very funny y/n" She chuckled, receiving a frown from you within a few moments. "Wait" She looked up at you. "You can't _actually_ be serious." She looked at you in disbelief. "You know probability of _us_ winning is low... Right?" You held the ticket close to your chest in defense, a little offended by her words.

"Jesus, Jass. Have a little faith in me!" You showed her the numbers on the ticket. "I know we will win this time!" You gave a wide grin, kind of like Sans shit eating grin- but cute? Yea, let's go with that.

Numbers: 40 15 21 25 10 Power Number: **69** (I'm mature C: okie?)

"Hun, you said that literally 5 years ago." She held her nose with between her index fingers. "Okay, fine. But this _will_ be the last one. Okay-" You tackled her in a hug, giving her a small thanks. "Dork" she mumbled, shaking her head with a small smile.

"Okay, I'm freakin bored." You groaned. "Work today was harsh, that damn couple and their kids need to like- _aghhhh_." You got off your friend, holding your hair in your hands. You felt like you should've ripped the stupid teenager's grin off, and fed it to your dog for breakfast. It was just _that_ bad. Your phone started ringing, the sound made you jump into fight mode. "Faack off" You groaned, reluctantly answering it. "Helllllo-" A male voice started _beep_ you clicked the "end call" button. "They need to take me off their damn list...." You "Cheezits gimme a break!" you grumbled, walking to your room. "Last time it was for a free taco, I don't want your crusty sounding tacos." You face planted on your soft fluffy bed. "Why am I talking to myself?" You sighed, turning over to face the ceiling. "It's not like anyone cares... Well-" You turned over to your nightstand where a picture frame stood, then picking up said picture frame, holding it tight.  
"Jasmine cares, and that's all that matters. I don't need no miss or mista, when I have my sista!" You giggled before falling asleep. 

_You felt like you were falling. You didn't know why, but it was an awful feeling, like as if someone was tying your intestines into a knot. You felt sick, your body growing colder by the second as your heart rate increased, clawing at the air desperately, hoping to grab onto something. Hopefully a good something. You tried screaming but nothing came out, your throat was too parched. A weak "help me" escaped from your fragile lips. You heard laughing, it was faint but it sounded so... Unearthly, a bit distorted. "Wake up" you felt yourself shaking violently._

"Wake up!" You were awakened by your friend violently shaking you. "Jeez Louis, y/n... You were thrashing in your sleep- maybe I should stay for awhile... Okay?" She rubbed your back in circles, hoping to make you feel better. Your throat still felt dry though, all you could think of at the moment was water. Shaking your head weakly, you attempted to get up. "Oh no you don't, stay in bed." She covered you up in a blanket and handed you a water bottle. _'Thank the poisoned Koolaid lord'_. You took the water bottle and drank it's contents. A few moments later, few words were said mow that your throat was less dry.

"Thank you, Jass" You coughed a bit.

"Shhh, don't talk. Just sleep okay?" She patted your head and sat next to you, rubbing your back with circles till you slept. "What am I going to do with you" she smiled, shaking her head.

The next morning went by normally:

Wake up.  
Eat breakfast.  
Go to work.  
Go home, sleep.  
Repeat.

The same ol' routine each and everyday. It was life, but it felt so... Sad. You took your ticket out of nightstand drawer beside your bed. Pulling out your phone, you took a picture of the bar code and it sent you to the website. You scanned through the numbers, tracing your finger across the thin paper. "Holy shi- JASMINE!" You ran into the living room, waking her up. You shoved the ticket in her face, and held your phone up. She scanned the numbers and her eyes widen as well.

"Cheezits crust we won!" She hugged you. "We can finally live the life we wanted! Who needs a soulmate for a stable life when we have each other!" She sniffed into your shoulder, while you? You were bawling your eyes out. 

"I didn't think we'd actually make it!" You laughed. "It was just pure luck." You broke the hug. "Now, let's get the flip outta here" She laughed at your sentence, but nodded in agreement. She pulled out her phone, looking up places to live. "Jas, do you think we should move out of state?" You began slowly. "I mean, with this much money we could" You trailed off. She looked up at you, then down the phone, started typing something furiously into the search bar, and showed you the phone. "Houses in Louisiana" you read aloud. "You mean by the ocean? I've always wanted to live there!" You grinned, pulling your friend into a hug. She only nodded, scrolling through some of the houses. A large grin appeared on her face.

"Yo, y/n. Look at this" She pointed at a house on her phone.

"Perfect".


	3. Chapter 3

You hugged your friend tightly, smiling widely. 

"I'm so excited Jass!" You laughed, picking up Bella,and booping her nose. "Now Bella can have somewhere to play! Without getting in trouble." you glared at your dog playfully. You didn't see, but Jasmine started howling in laughter, coughing in the process, proceeding to grab a nearby water bottle and drinking it's contents. "Jeez Jass, I'm not that funny" You huffed. "Am I?" You gave her a confused glance.

"No, look" She handed you her phone. It was a picture, _of an egg_. You frowned. 

"Rude" you mumbled.

"Wait it gets better!" She giggled.

"What the fuck Jass. It's just an egg." You sister snatched her phone and looked at the caption. "Egg" You read aloud, clearly confused on how, why, and what makes it so funny– Jasmine lost it. "Jass, stay serious, you sound like a mouse on helium." You glared daggers at your friend. "We still have so much to do! Starting with- augh... Let's, just get our stuff packed, okay?" If looks could kill. She'd already be on a platter.

"Okay, okay fine" she rose her hands in defense. "Don't tie your penis in a knot sis" A Cheshire grin was plastered on her face, which in result, a boot to the hea- shoulder. 

"Not like you have one" You retorted. Jass huffed, but then gave an evil grin, tackling you to the ground, and tickling you. "Hahahahahah! Stawp!" You kicked violently, laughing your arse off. "That tickles!" Throwing her off seemed like an option, but to your dismay- Jass was too strong. _'Screw you noodle arms'_ you mentally cursed. Finally, she stopped, letting air fill your dying lungs, you probably had some war flashbacks- battle of the helium-tickling-laughing mouse.

"Okay, let's pack!" She clapped her hands, you agreeing by nodding your head, still trying to gasp some air. You both parted ways, you heading into your room and Jass heading to the kitchen. Staring at it the door frame of your room, you sighed. "So many memories within these two years." You sighed smiling while tracing the doorframe with your index finger. "Well-" You threw a box in your room. "Out with the old, and in with the new!" dusting yourself off, you carefully set the set of pictures inside the box, some Ghibli movies, and your f/f posters. "The room already looks empty, damn I guess I don't have that much...?" Shrugging, you went back to Jasmine, who was packing the kitchen.

"It hasn't even been a day, let alone we haven't seen the house in person." She laughed.

"Hey, it was a good deal anyway. We could decorate it as much as we want, with no one nearby to criticize it." You pointed out.

"Yea, but we should at least look at it's history so we can make sure that there was no cult attached." She joked, but half serious.

"Fine fine, let's stop and look at the description" You pulled up the house.

_Description:_   
_(Last upgraded: 2016)_   
_Location: New Orleans_   
_Bedroom Count: 3_   
_Contains:_   
_1 dining room_   
_1 kitchen_   
_2 bathrooms_

"Everything I read so far seems normal, but it's really rare for someone to just buy a house just from online.... Well-" You grinned up at your friend "Surprises are nice, right?" She gave you a worried glance, but smiled anyway. "Yea! Just as long- ummm... We don't get murdered." She mumbled. You continued reading

"Built on a plantation." It finalized. "Farming...? Or-" you trailed off. "Let's not think about that..." You chuckled nervously. You put the phone away, and went into your room to pack.

Packing was.... In progress? More like, if you can call throwing pool noodles/ having noodle wars progress- then be my guest!

"The noodle queen y/n shall defeat all!" You yelled.

"Bitch, please! Noodle queen Jasmine for the win!" She scoffed, noodle-sword-fighting with you. "Die imposter!" She successfully flung your noodle out of your hands.

"Faaacck off!" You groaned, putting your hands up in defeat. "You bully me" Whining as you wailed your arms. Yep, that was that, you failed, you dun goofed, whatever. Grumbling as you continued on your cleaning, you spot your old diary. "Jeez... I thought I threw you away there bud." flipping open some pages, you saw an old pencil fall out. "Uh-...m" raising your brow, you picked up the pencil and found a message on it. "Your pimp daddy loves you." The pencil said. It was written on green washi tape, which seemed to be written with a red marker? It looked torn on the edges, the tape slightly curling. "Jeez Jass, I think I found my high school diary...?" She whipped her head.

"Now look who's getting distracted-OoHOo! Is that the pencil I wrote on?" She giddily snatched it, receiving a chuckle from you.

" _now look who's getting distracted_ " you mocked.

"Shaddup" Your friend whined. Flipping some more pages, you found a LOT of empty ones, half of it wasn't filled. You hummed a bit, reading some of your older entries. Jass, also being the nosy son of a bitch, started reading some off your shoulder. "Jass looks like a burnt chicken nugget." She read.

"JESUS!" You screeched. "H-ow- when the hell were you right behind me!" You shoved her.

"What?" She snickered. "Afraid I'll find something that is embarrassing?~"

"What are you, five? Jass it's not high school. We are adults, we are not in high school anymore, considering with what money we had, we could easily apply for college- but you are a lazy potato." 

"Says you" she retorted.

"Hey, I actually liked my job as a waitress. It was from a family business." You glared.

"I'm pretty sure we can live a comfortable life with a million dollars-"

"Until it runs out." You cut her off. "We are going to have to find a job _somewhere_ , so i suggest- maybe after we _pack_ , we should look at job applications." She nodded, considering that you were in-fact, right. "Okay!" You placed your diary in a random box carefully, then clapped your hands. "Let's comtinue!"

And that's how the rest of the day went.

\-------—————-------

The next week, after everything was done, you and Jass booked a time to hit the road.

"I can't wait to see the ocean again" you sighed happily. "I went there for the first time when I was 14. I almost thought that'd be my last."

"I've never been there" Jass shrugged. "Never thought I will either." You locked arms with her.

"We'll, this will be a huge experience for the both of us!" You grinned a Cheshire grin. She checked the time on her phone.

"I think we should get going now" Jass stated. "We should be able to reach the border of Texas in- I don't know I don't do math. Let's just go" she laughed.

"Yea, yea!" You laughed along. 

Walking out of the front door of your apartment, you gave it a last good look. Like, a really good last look. "Goodbye" You smiled. "Cruddy apartment." Slamming the door after those words, you followed Jass into the car.

"Everyone here? Bella?" She barked. "Jass?" 

"Right here cap'n" She saluted.

"And- oof! Me." You put a hand onto yourself in a sassy manor. "Let's go!" Everyone cheered. Well- cheered and barked.

"Some good changes are going to happen!"


	4. Chapter 4

Arriving at your destination would've been impossible without your handy dandy GPS. It was so... confusing, it was almost like the house didn't even _exist_. Like, if someone kept it that way for a reason. 'Then how was it being sold? I mean, _surely_ there was some connection'. This puzzled you, but shrugged it off for now. You felt something poke your cheek repeatedly, okay- lemme rephrase that, _jabbing_ repeatedly would be the best response.  
"Hey, dreamy boi. We're here" Jass stated, while _continuously_ jabbing you. Like, Cheezits- slow down gurl. You held her arm in place.  
"stop, seriously. That hurts" You whined. "I'm not asleep, I'm just.... Thinking" You said, unsure with your own choice of words.  
"Well, stop thinking and come inside." She was out of the car by now, her hand on her hip. "We need to get used to our surroundings, y/n" You grumbled at her words while getting out of the car, receiving a harsh pat on your shoulder. "Hey, I told you to stop staying up every. Single. Night watching random 3 am shit”   
“Hey!” You whined. “You- Y- Let’s just go inside” You sighed, obviously defeated. Walking up to the front- okay, this is how you describe the house you were placed in front of.  
Astonishing. 

“Cheezits Crust on a motorcycle.” Jass stated, looking at the house up and down- kind of like you would for someone who is thiccc with three ‘c’s. She was the first to run inside, twirling like a schoolgirl who just got kissed on the cheek. Walking inside the house for yourself was like a dream, everything was so huge that you felt so small. The first room you walked in seemed- well you assumed was the living room. 

“This reminds me of my grandparents house- but on drugs.” You said, your jaw wide open. “Jesus how did we get so _lucky_.”  
“Dunno, do not care.” Jass replied “It was actually… I hate to admit it, but I think this was worth it.”   
“Godamn you’re right! Well-” You clapped your hands. “Let’s explore!” You grinned widely, your eyes lighting up as if you were a little kid who has just received a piece of candy. And, that’s what you did. Opening up doors, you came across a hall in which contained family photos. It contained photos of a family who was neatly dressed. A mother, a father, and someone who resembles a son. Well- that’s what you were assuming. You loved exploring the hall, it had so many interesting aspects of it, containing many, _many_ photos. You assumed; a. It was an actual family- or b. It was there to fit the aesthetic of the house.

Letter “a” seemed more reasonable. The photos seemed to be dated back way back- the oldest being 1900. “The deere family.” you read aloud, shrugging your shoulders, walking past the hall, basically skimming it. But something caught your eye, a small stand in the hall containing a small photo frame, laced with intricate gold designs. Picking up the frame, there was a name engraved on the bottom. “Our dear Alex, Jesus is this some funeral?” you questioned, softly placing it back on the stand. “They all look so.. Sad? Even in portraits when they are smiling” You shuddered after you said those words, the air growing cold and dense. “I’m.. going to go find Jass now.” You told yourself, slightly creeped out. It felt like some cliche horror movie where you could sense the feeling of someone watching.

“Follow me.” a small voice said, it was almost a whisper- Kind of like a child, but you know that wasn’t the case. But something was so _alluring_ about it, _very_ alluring. “I want to show you something.” And let me tell you, everything in your body was screaming “don’t touch with that sis, you better stop, you better not-” Just, everything was screaming no. But you were locked inside this odd trance, like you belonged in some way? It wasn’t a bad feeling, maybe a little weird but nonetheless.. It was oddly comforting. You found yourself in some sort of library, everything seemed a bit dusty. This was weird because in the living room and hallway it was so- clean? At this point you didn’t care, it was too breathtaking, your eyes glittering with curiosity and interest. You then found yourself looking through the books, some were old files- which you being the nosy biscuit you are, snooped around. Seconds turned into minutes, in which turned into hours. You didn’t know how long you were reading through them, but you learned some interesting facts. The house you were currently in was built around the 1900s? That was no rocket science, this was because even the front of the house screamed “I’m an old ass house, respect me.” Then you found out that the family that once lived here had letters, like- long detailed letters. You gave no shit about privacy. Reading them was like reading some weird fanfiction, it was just- okay long story short about these people who lived here. They were a part of some ties, maybe a gang? A cult? You didn’t know but shrugged anyway. “At least they are dead.” Then, once again, the air became cold. Like- really, _really_ cold. “This is sketchy” you mumbled. “Why does the air keep getting cold? Lemme start the fireplace, that’ll make me feel better” You reasoned, and started walking out of the library. Looking around the house, it was hard to _not_ get distracted, and _not_ want to continue to snoop. Yes this is your and Jasmine's house now, but... It felt like in some way you didn't belong? AnYwHO- finally, your adventure ended. Reaching to the living room you saw Jass sitting on the couch, glancing over to the fireplace and saw that it was already lit.

"Thank you for lighting(starting) the fireplace" You and Jass said at the same time. "Wait what?" You both glanced at the fireplace.

"Uhm" Jass started. "I thought that you started it, and I was thankful that the room wasn't cold?"

"naw man, I found a library- and perhaps snooped into some history about this place, so I assumed when I walked in, you might've started it." You inquired.

"Well..." She tried to reason "Maybe it was already lit when we walked in?"'

"That _literally_ just states that someone else is here. Y'know- Let's don't overthink it, maybe one of us did it without realizing it? It might've been me- since I have a literal attention span of Dory" You laughed nervously.

"yea... let's go with that? anyway- I think we should make sure that when the moving truck comes we are well rested, we have a LOT to do tomorrow. Considering the fact that not all the house is furnished."

"But... I saw the hallway with pictures of a family? Maybe it's to respect the people who lived here before us? I mean- This house is a piece of history." You trailed off.  
"Who lived here?" Jass asked, only half interested.

"I guess a family, they were called the Deere family? I saw a family portrait of presumably them in the hall."  
"Huh" she replied.

"Huh, indeed" You nodded your head.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, the moving truck was coming to the house. This time though, it was _your_ turn to wake up your lazy arse friend Jasmine. 

"Rainbows, and Rose's and whiskers and kittens" you softly sang in her ear. "Sticking my DICK in rotisserie chicken!" You yelled, waking her up immediately.

"What. The. Fuck. Y/n" She slowly turned her head and gave you a death stare. "That was _not_ cool" she grumbled, earning a snicker from you. She sat up, yawning. "I'm taking a shower now, you bully.”

"Cool, you better hurry, the moving truck is almost here" you chuckled, receiving a small response of "oh snizzle." You laughed softly, satisfied as she ran into the bathroom, then taking the moment to explore more of the house. You took the scenery of the house more, taking yourself into places almost foriegn to you. It seemed so.. surreal being able to experience owning a literal _museum_. You thanked the doggos that you were able to find this house. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, but you didn't mind. You ended up in the library again, happily sighing. Y'know, to you this was actually peaceful, so- comforting? You went through the books again, softly smiling as you were in peace. 

“The best part of being old is that nothing frightens you” You laughed at your own joke, “ha… so many good references I could make.” 

_beep_

You received a text from your friend. “ _hey, the moving truck is here_ ” You sighed putting the phone away. “Has it already been that long? Never knew I was such a reader” You put down a book, it was a random Reader’s Digest books. You took a good look at the library before texting your friend. “ _calm your tits give me a minute_ ” You sent. Reluncticall, you got up from the comfort of the chair you were sitting in, stretching your arms and legs. “I guess I should get going now.” And then you were out of the library, walking to your destination.

“Here, hold this.” Jass immediately handed you something to hold. You looked down at it, noticing that it took no rocket science to recognize what it was. It was the box containing your Gamecube, and Jasmine’s Wii, huh, what fun. Walking inside carefully, you placed it on the coffee table near the couch, smiling at your simple accomplishment. The whole day went like this, box after box, after- y’know. Ya get the point. The moving truck men helped helped with bringing the furniture in, in which you gave a tip of fifty dollars. 

9:00 pm, the clock said. Yawning as you were tired, surprise, surprise? Deciding against the thought of sleep, you went into the kitchen. Y’know- to get water? The floors were creaking- Actually.. Lemme rephrase that, _dying_. It sounded like crying mice. Jeez, you were almost convinced that you were stepping on some. After reaching the kitchen, and pouring some water, you heard a very loud _obnoxious_.  
“Hello!”

“JESUS!” You screeched. “What the fuck are you doing in my house? Get out!”

“Actually, it should be the other way around” You assumed was a male voice responds. Not being able to see said voice made you scared, not knowing where they are located, and knowing that they had the advantage or one would say “upper hand”. You might as well be considered screwed. “You know it’s not nice to snoop.”

“Snoop? I bought this house literally a month ago!” you replied, obviously ticked off. “So if anything, _you’re_ trespassing! So get. Out.” 

The male voice tsked. “Well, if that’s the case, allow me to introduce myself.” He just, appeared- like boom! Done. “Alastor, a pleasure to be meeting you, darling” He held his hand out, bowing in a gentlemanly manner. You took a good look at him, well- from the attire and the top of his head. He had pale gray skin, pinkish red hair with something that represents ears on top of his hair. He seemed to have loved the color red because- jeez Louiz he was basically covered with it. But it made sense on him, I mean- who could say no with an outfit that has red? I mean- you couldn’t, Red was one of your favorites. _you might make a copy of that suit later_. You glanced upon the top of his head.

“Are those… antlers?” You asked slowly, hopefully not asking the wrong question, allowing him to take your hand.

“Why yes! I guess you can say that.” He brought your hand up to his face and gave it a small peck. “Now, since I don’t want to be the one considering you to be “trespassing”, I think it’d be wise to not be strangers, what’s your name dear?” You were hella confused, but gave him your name anyway. ‘Must be a dream, I mean- that’s the only logical explaination’

“My name is y/n, Alastor. The pleasure is all mine?” You replied uneasy

“Such a beautiful name for a lady such as yourself.” He stared into your very soul, examining to find any suspicious intentions you may hold. “Now, you say that you bought my house? What year is it?”

Those were two completely different questions.

“Yes, I bought “your” house a month ago, and the year is 2019? It’s almost christmas so I guess I should consider it 2020” You shrugged, sitting on the counter. At this point you didn’t question the fact there was a being foriegn inside the house you and Jass own. He put his hand under his chin in thought.

“Hmm… Almost a hundred years since the great depression. It’s been quite a bit.”

“Wait” You stopped him. “I’m assuming that you aren’t human? So- How old are you?” He scoffed, a little hurt.

“That’s rude to assume such things, I was once human, dear-”

“ _Once_ ” He glared at your words a bit, his grin still unfazed. Jesus does this man ever _not_ smile? He brushed imaginary dust off and straightened himself. Probably annoyed.

“Yes, I was born in the 1900s, twenty-nine years before the great depression!” Alastor said matter of factly. “Great era if you ask me, ha... So many orphans.” Alastor chuckled darkly.

“Narcissist” You mumbled. “Wait- isn’t your name… Alex then? I’m only assuming this because there are pictures of a boy in the hall”

“Dear, you need to stop snooping in other people’s business” He chuckled. “How would you like it if I looked into your life.”

“Hey! there were files here that were left behind, and I’m curious.” You retorted. “I always have questions, wait- look into my life?” Scoffing at his words “How do you plan to do that oh deer man” At this point you were utterly dying, wanting to sleep in the comforts of your sheets. You honestly didn’t care what was happening right now.

“Quite simple actually, but curiosity once killed a cat, dear.” Alastor booped your nose, causing it to scrunch up.

“Keep touching me and i’ll knock out your piss coloured teeth” You sneered. (I have to give credit for the one who originally made this joke, I think I got the term “piss coloured teeth” from the story “dapper dresser?” Well, props to them because that made me laugh my butt off)

“Then stop asking questions” He smirked at your remark, loving the fact he was getting a reaction out of you. Chuckling, he straightened himself up and winked at you, causing you to raise a brow. “This conversation was very entertaining, but I must be off”

“Wait I’m not don-” And he was gone. “Damnit… What the hell is his problem.” Shrugging it off, you walked back to your room, putting on your fluffy red robe ini the process. Sighing deeply as you were now snuggled into your covers. To be honest, this “Alastor” person seems sketchy- okay that most likely have been obvious. Maybe your water had something in it? Nah, that didn’t make sense. The more you thought about it, the less tired you got. It came to the point where you just got up and went to the library again. 

“Snooping my ass” You mumbled, as you were watching Howl’s Moving Castle on your phone. Within minutes into the movie, your stress has faded. Perhaps quoting some lines along the way. 

“Here’s another curse.” One the characters began, you finishing the quote along with it. “ _may all your bacon burn_ ” You giggled, as it was one of your favorite quotes out of the many it held. Way into the movie, you practically died inside as your phone committed self deletus. “Shit.” You mumbled. “That was unfortunate” And it was- because you didn’t know where you put your charger. “I refuse to sleep though, maybe I should draw?” Nodded at those words in agreement, you pulled out a pocket sketchbook (Which was your highschools diary you found at home) with the “Your pimp daddy loves you” pencil out of your robe and began to draw within it.

“For me, and you for you…” You hummed a certain song that made your friend pretty much sick. “Cause I’m still stuck on you~” But it didn’t stop you from loving it. You were drawing what happened today, that’s how you record entries besides words, you give a drawing next to it. And guess what it was?

‘ _Dear Diary,_

_I just probably just witnessed the weirdest crap I have ever witnessed in my 19 years of living. It was a weird deer man, his name is Alastor. I do in fact, inspected that his original name was Alex, but I don’t know why he’d change it. Is Alex just a basic name to him? Maybe, but- honestly I don’t care as long as he doesn’t kill me in my sleep. He says that this was his house, and said something about the great depression being the greatest era? That’s honestly fucked up- but I guess it’d be best to not question it. He says to stop snooping at his life, and I can see why- But I kinda thought that he was just… nonexistent? I didn’t know to not snoop, because it was technically, Jass and I’s house now. There was nothing written on the documents stating._

_“No Snooping Ya rAt”_

_WeLl, anyways- I’m going to head to bed now, and I’ll update tomorrow._ ’

_~Y/n_

You passed out on the library couch.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up was pure havoc, like _pure_ havoc. It was pouring outside of your home like no tomorrow, if there is even a “tomorrow”. There was no sunlight whatsoever, causing you to trip and fall in the abyss of your room, achieving balance almost nonexistent. When you finally steadied yourself, you managed to get to the lightswitch.

Which didn’t work.

“Dammit” you mumbled. “Operation: Find lightsource.” That sentence alone would’ve made you smile, If it wasn’t so gloomy. You felt around the room for a candle, which to your luck- There actually was! I mean, the house had many to begin with. Finding a random match box, you lit up said candle. Remember that scene in HMC where Sophie was holding a lit handle to go find Howl? Well- That’s you except you are trying to find Jass within the dark vortex you call home, the black hallways lighting up only the slightest bit with the candle, darkness trailing behind you as if it was trying to swallow you whole. It was honestly kind of scary, and the thunder didn’t make it any better, the rumble sounds it made while the trees were tapping at your windows, each sound making you hate life more and more. Finally, you made it to Jass’s room, knocking the door lightly to find that it was open. What the hell, what was this- some cheesy horror movie? You found Jass awake, on her phone. 

“Oh, hey y/n” She said, not looking up from her phone.

“Morning?” You mumbled.

“What do you mean? It’s actually twelve-pm?” Jass laughed lightly, your face growing pale.

“What the- I slept quite a bit then…” You responded sadly. You decided to find your way into the kitchen, y’know? To find some backup generator- and to your surprise, 

There wasn’t. “MOTHER FU-” a finger was placed on your lips, sealing your mouth shut.

“I don’t think screaming with such profanity will solve your problem.” A voice that was obviously not Jass stated.

“Alastor” You mumbled. “What do you want from me this time? Because I really, really-” He took his finger off your lips and placed it under his chin.

“You sound just like one of my good friends! If you two met I bet you’d both hit it off” He cut you off, grinning a weird cheshire grin.

“-Don’t care.” You finished, causing his smile to falter, _just a tiny bit_. A shiver went up your spine as you felt a little guilt. “Agh, look- I’m sorry. I just didn’t have any tea or preferably coffee yet. So I’m a little grumpy right now” You didn’t know why you were apologizing, but it just felt like the right thing to do. His smile widened, if that was even possible. His shit eating grin was just.. Sinister, utterly terrifying. 

“Well why didn’t you just say so! I could easily make you coffee with just the snap of my fingers!” Alastor replied playing a laughing soundtrack, causing you to raise a brow. This being was just- confusing? Weird? Aha! A pain in the neck. Wait- was that a laughing soundtrack? You didn’t have enough time to reply because he snapped his fingers, creating fresh brewed coffee. “Literally.”

“Nani!? I mean- you were serious, but.. Wat-” you were rambling, earning a chuckle from him. “What the hell are you?” This man was confusing, this was some satanic-cult-infested-stuff that was happening right now. It just.. Didn’t make any sense. Like if you were diagnosed with a minor case of _serious brain damage_.

“I’m from the very place you said, dear” He smirked, his static voice glitching out just a _teensy_ bit. “I’m feared all throughout Hell” At this point, you took back everything you said, the colour draining from your face. You mentally facepalmed yourself from being an utter idiot.

“i’M SoRrY SiR” you mumbled, bowing your head down in fear. 

“Hahaha! Dear, if I truly wanted to harm you, I fully have the capability of doing so. Well- did. I was dragged back on earth and I honestly don’t know why” He placed his hand under his chin in thought. “I wanted to suspect if it had something to do with you, but I’m not sure.” Him not being able to harm you was a sigh of relief, but then you realized that he was stuck with you.

Death seemed like an option.

“Well, guess you’re stuck with me?” Now you actually had a turn to smirk. “I will be the most annoying piece of shit you’ll ever meet. Not many people can.. Stand me.” Your smirk slowly faded. “No one does..” He placed a finger under your chin, lifting it up.

“Smile dear, I’m sure you’ll be splendid.” He probably didn’t mean those words, because something was laced behind them. You shook that feeling away, because maybe for once, You’ll have another friend, well- besides Jass of course. “Do smile though, you know you’re never fully dressed without one!” He grinned, but you didn’t smile. For some reason, that irritated him. “Hmm, how about I cook something for you?-” He began and you cut him off. “No, I rather do it- I was mean earlier.” You smiled lightly, half sincere with that smile since you were still a tad bit upset. “I know a great recipe my mom has for her slow cooked deer shoulder-” You looked up at Alastor realizing your mistake. “SHit- ThAt WasN’t On PurPose!” He laughed loudly.

“That’s alright dear! It’s not really considered cannibalism, considering the fact I _still_ eat deer! Let’s try making that Mother’s recipe of yours! It sounds delightful!” He clapped his hands together. “I guess we should go hunt some deer first! I know where my guns are- if they are still here of course!” You laughed lightly at his words.

“Well, just don’t shoot me!” You giggled, slightly feeling better. “It would trigger some unwanted assault” You felt like the most cringiest dad alive, but it was worth it. Alastor choked on your words giving a small “Pfft”. 

“I walked into that one.” The deer man chuckled.

“You did indeed “ _Deer_ ” At this point he was letting out a few fits of laughter, _sincere_ laughter, as if he was alive again. He felt alive, which was honestly a nice feeling for him. He originally planned to get you wrapped around his finger, but he guess it wouldn’t take long for his plan to take place. For now? He was going to enjoy his “Once in his afterlife” moment. You two then went to work, him leading you into some sort of secret basement. “I think this is the exact place a teen goes to get raped by some random guy they met at a bar” He swiftly cracked his neck to look at you. “Jesus, don’t tie your penis in a knot” You raised your hands in defense. “Maybe” was all he replied, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Here we are! There should be- If I’m correct, a box right here” He lifted a box, smiling to himself, he looked behind a random object and pulled out a key. Unlocking the box, he pulled out a Savage Model 99. “Now! Without further ado- let’s go hunt some deer”

ThIs iS FinE.


	7. Chapter 7

Walking outside with Alastor, to say the least was a bit- nerve wracking. I mean, he was literally holding a _gun_. Which probably would’ve given any person some anxiety, y’know… It’s a weapon? 

“So-” he placed a finger to your lips, shushing you. He gave a sinister smirk as his prey was trotting along the forest.

**Bang**

It dropped dead, leaving your jaw dropping to the forest floor. Alastor gave out a chuckle at your… _reaction_ “Dinner” He stated.

“Uhmm…. Let’s go back and skin the deer-” He snapped his fingers, and it disappeared. “-? Um, Let’s not question what the _fuck_ you just did.” You huffed. “Why’d you do that?”

“I thought you said that we weren’t going to question anything, hmm dear? Well, since you insist. I sent it back to the house, and it should already be skinned when we arrive back there.” He dusted himself off. “Besides, I wanted to learn more about you”

“This isn’t some date, Al” 

“Who said it was? Do you want it to be?” He teased, as your next reaction was just absolutely _priceless_. “I didn’t know you’d be in love with me _that_ quickly.” He played a soundtrack that said “Awe”.

“Wa- no! I thought that- JESUS, no! I don’t and I will never date you.” You were rambling nonsense, while being heavily confused as you just fallen into a trap. Questioning your existence if you hadn’t already, you were walking around in stumbly drunk circles.

“Hahaha! I was just teasing you, dear! I must say though, your reactions, well- little outbursts were sure entertaining.” You scoffed at those words, wondering why he’d love doing this. 

“Not as entertaining when I rip your stupid grin off” He gave a fake pout.

“Darling” He gave a dramatic sigh. “That hurt my soul”

“Do you even have one?” He gave you a look of ‘Really now?’ Like that was the dumbest shit he has ever heard in his entire years of existence. He was puzzled by how you were honestly so calm on how a literal demon from hell was just damned to her for reasons he couldn’t explain. He hated the fact that he was stuck, but at the same time… didn’t really mind it as much. Maybe he could enjoy being in your company, who knows? Maybe even some chaos could ensue- with your help! He couldn’t help but grin at the fact on how easy it might be for you to do what he says. One might say being a manipulative prick, but no one was going to be the dick on his case now would they? 

“How am I here.” Was all he said before forcefully linking arms with you. “Well I’m starved!” That was quick. How did those two lines come here? You shook your head in annoyance as you were basically _forced_ skipping with Alastor. You did let out a small smile, letting it creep it's way onto your lips. It was actually a bit peaceful. The way you took in the scenery of it all. Along the way to the house you kept thinking about oh- 

"JASS!!" You freaked out. You totally forgot that you left your friend alone, but then you were in the kitchen, jeez what the hell is this guys problem? You saw Jass staring at the dead deer, skinned and cut in front of her. She looked up and then her eyes locked on Al. 

"Haha y/n, is this a joke? Nice costume man?...." Alastor slowly walked up to her. He snaped his fingers, a flower appearing in his hand.

"Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, but I must ensure you that this _isn't_ a costume!" You huffed in annoyance, causing you him to snap his neck towards you in a swift motion. You saw Jass slowly take out her cellphone, probably getting ready to dial 911. You gave her a look of 'it wouldn't work, man'. On cue, the phone disappeared. Laughing nervously you introduced them both.

"Al, meet Jass. Jass, meet Alastor" You made them shake hands. It was probably the most dense atmosphere you have ever felt in your whole life. It was utterly,

Concerning.

"You have a lot of explaining to do sis" She crossed her arms. Alastor saw your uneasiness and butted in, he didn't want his pawn uncomfortable now would he?

"How about over your mom's delightful recipe you told me about! That reminds me, we are probably going to need a few extra hands so let me bring in someone" 

He snapped his fingers and a black blob came out of the oven.

What. The. Fuck. This day keeps getting weirder and weirder.

The deer demon picked it up and held it by it's back, letting it poof out to a small…. Really fricken adorable being. "This little darling is Nifty! She will be giving us a hand in cooking and cleaning" He dropped her and she spoke.

Shit it was too kawaii.

"Hi, I'm Nifty! I'm excited to meet you!"

She looked at the deer meat and back at Alastor, glancing confusedly. Was there something she knew that you didn't. Alastor booped her nose. " Nifty, help y/n's _friend_ chop the vegetables, we will work on the deer."

"How did you know…. I use? Wa-" He patted your head laughing. "I know many basic things! Now, let's prepare the meal okay? How about we add some Jambalaya to the mix, that'll be the two of us using our mother's recipe." He cooked, treating you like a widdle child. Damn, you didn't know how to be infuriated with him though. Nifty already took Jass before she could protest, and it left you alone with the radio demon- well you didnt know that was his title yet. You shook your head before rolling up your sleeves.

"Let's do this!"

___________________________

Dinner was made, the power of time skipping right?

"So" Jasmine started. "Explain to me what the hell is going on?" You shrugged your shoulders, you couldn't give an explanation. 

"I would tell you if I knew, pimp daddy" Alastor looked at you with a weird glance. Jass noticed this and laughed, causing you to giggle.

"It's a thing we do Al." You snorted He coughed a bit, preparing to say something.

"Getting comfortable are we? Dear you already given me a nickname?" You blushed out of anger, and confusion.

"You always give me pet names, so why cant I give you a nickname?" Embarrassed you retorted, making Jass more confused, and a tad bit uncomfortable. He felt as if he were a snake and someone yanked his tail.

"Ehm, I'd love to stay for a but longer but I have errands to run, have a wonderful night you two!"

And he just disappear.

"Is this Casper or some shit?"


	8. Chapter 8

you woke up on your bed, stretching the muscles on your human flesh, seemingly getting ready for the day! Only for you to fall back onto the bed, letting the warmth of the blankets overcome you. You were completely drained after the whole week, taking down the Christmas decorations, New Years was a thing- You got drunk, and couldn’t even recollect after that. So if your sorry ass bought something dumb off of EBay

Too bad.

“Y/n, get your ass up” Your friend Knock- okay, once again let me rephrase that. _banged_ on the door, making you throw your pillow across the room in a quick motion, startled by the loud noise. Proceeding to hit your head on the headboard momento later, you got up reluctantly and swung the door open.

“Whaaaat” 

You were a mess, your eyes had bags under them, what resembled a bird’s nest was on your head, with your face having the biggest frown one could ever witness.

“Who tied your intestines in a knot?” She stifled a laugh.

“Is this funny to you?” You growled. “Because I had the worst sleep I think I ever had, and this is a hard thing to do because I usually don’t have this much of a problem. It wasn’t so fun when Alastor decided it’d be a the “brightest idea” to place what he calls a “picture show” on so fucking loud I felt like my ears where about to bleed. _how do you do it?_?.”

Your friend rose a brow.

“I heard nothing last night. You must be on something because there was literally NO sound” Jass shrugged. “Besides, aren't we supposed to be looking for a job right now?” Stopping dead in your tracks, you mentally freaked out.

“You’re right- Jeez… Let me get a few more hours of rest, I promise we'll go look” The door was then slammed closed, creating a rumble inside your room, the house creaking ever so slightly to the fact you had just slammed a delectable wooden _door_. (oh close the door Angel!) Satisfied, you walked over to your bed and threw yourself on top of it, drifting into a dreamless sleep-

Well, that was what you thought would have happened. You felt static ringing in your ears, causing you to cringe and hold your ears.

“Goodmorning, dear!” A voice boomed, which was clearly Alastor.

“GoD DAmNit!” You groaned, face planting in the fluffy cozy pillow the house held. “I was _trying_ to sleep! Why did you do that Al!” Proceeding to turn away from the windows when he opened the blinds which in result, you hissed like a vampire that just got hit with a flashlight.

“You slay me, doll!” He laughed. “But i guess it was even funnier when you were zozzled, my dear~!”

You rose a brow, before letting out a small giggle. “What the fuck does that mean?” He coughed a bit.

“Oh! Let me put it where you’d understand, I guess it was even funnier when you were drunk dear!” He laughed. “I guess you all don’t use that anymore- what are you doing?” He saw you get up and personal, destroying the five foot rule. 

“Hey, you can’t say shit ‘Dear’, after all that, as I quote, “giggle juice” you have consumed” His face fell a bit. “Oh, y/n! Give me some more “Giggle juice” Dear~! Who the fuck says that?” You giggled.

The well known demon regained his composure, smirking a bit. “Oh Al, your ears look so fluffy~! I would love to touch your tiny antlers, infact let me touch your wenis!” 

You both laughed, having a small bonding experience despite the hundred year difference.

“What is a wenis by the way, dear?” Al managed to choke out. Well, after his contagious laugh died down.

“Well my little _fawn_ ” You sat down, pulling your elbow skin. “This is a wenis” He rose a brow, stifling a laugh. “I’m actually serious it’s a literal term people use.” You stretched your arms behind you head, popping your back in the process. “Well then! That was great but now I need to take a shower, so shoo” You made hand motions to the door. He gave a fake pout. 

“Oh y/n! My afterlife is so lonely without you!” He dramatically draped himself across you. “I can’t imagine myself spending my time seconds without you!”

“Shut up you big baby, I rather not smell like Taco Bell. Besides, I have to look for jobs today.” 

He rose a brow, taking this moment in attempt to scare you. “But it could be dangerous dear! You could;  
-slip and fall  
-Get electrocuted during a storm  
-be stuck in the bathroom if a fire starts  
-someone can break in and you wouldn’t notice

Shall I go on?” He smirked, thinking that he probably got you.

“That's what bathroom mats are for, I’m pretty sure getting electrocuted is not an option unless I put a toaster in the bathtub, If a for starts I could clearly go out the window in my bathroom that let’s light in, and if someone were to break in?

Bitch please I got a black belt. ‘Shall I go on?’” Then he just disappeared. “Such a baby…” you mumbled, grabbing your clothes and a towel to use. Walking into the bathroom, you spotted a random note on the door.

“Watch your back dear~” 

You scoffed. “Seriously, such a baby.” A box appeared in front of you.

“For you~” It read. shrugging it off, you placed the box down next to the sink where you’ll probably forget about it. “Now about that shower-” You took off your clothes, prepping up the shower to where it was hot enough to keep you happy, I mean- who likes cold showers? (I sometimes do-) Hopping in the shower, you got your shampoo, squeezing it onto your now wet hands. You begin spreading it in your hair, making sure to get the scalp in your luxurious locks, rinsing and repeating the same process until you felt like your hair was A-Ok. You brought out a loofa, putting your favorite body wash on it, fluffing and scrubbing it between your fingers. Satisfied, you began scrubbing your body of the scented liquid, letting the water wash it off your back. You finally turned the knob and hopped out, you opened the window in the bathroom to let more natural light come in. You regretted that seconds later as your body began shivering from the once nice, warm bathroom. You went to grab a towel only to find that your clothes were gone. “Damnit….” You noticed the box was on top of your towel, a new note placed on it.

“Open” It read

“Al! this better not be some joke, I’m sincerely not wanting to play these games right now!” You sighed, proceeding to open the box anyway. Lied inside was a beautiful black dress, the bottom dress half having intricate designs of red roses, the vines (which were a golden color) lacing their way around the rim of the dress. “Where the duck did this come from?” You gasped. “I don’t remembering owning such an ite-

Oh.”

_flash back_

“Look at this dress Al!” Drunk you stated, looking at a dress on Amazon. “It's super pretty, I’m going to buy it!” Alastor chuckled. 

“I guess you do have good taste after all” 

You playfully punched his shoulder. “That’s mean”

The search engine had the words of “1920’s style dress”

You wanna know how much the dress cost?

a whopping six hundred dollars. It sounds pretty cheap considering the amount of money you had, but that’s still a big no no considering you could probably buy the same dress for cheaper somewhere else. But at the moment, you were being dumb. You’ll see what else you had bought later.

_back to now_

“God, what else did I buy?....” You put on the dress, which surprisingly fit against your figure. I mean, considering the money that you used to have paid, it would have to fit because if it didn't.

Whoops.

You walked out, grabbing a hair brush in the process. You combed out your hair, making sure to get all the rats nests out. “God this pains me” You cringed at the knots you had to maneuver way around. You sat down on your bed, sighing happily. “Well… At least I feel pretty!” 

“You in fact, do have good taste in clothes~! I thought you were a goner” 

“JESUS, ALASTER!” You screeched, making him flinch. “What the fuck was that for?!” 

“Just wanted to give you a complement, darling~! What's the harm in that?”

“Did you put the damn box in the bathroom?” 

He gasped at your words. “Why do you assume such things, dear!” He grinned a little sinister grin, almost mischievous. “I was just wanting to let you know that you look stunning is all!”

“Did you see me nude?” His flushed up a bit. 

“Goodness no! I _am_ a gentlemen after all” He tried saving himself it seemed, but you gave in. I mean- he didn't seem like the type to do that… right?

“Well, I’m off to the store, so have fun? Do whatever you do for fun.” You shrugged, heading out the door.

“Wait.” he grabbed your arm.


End file.
